No Regrets, and No Forgotten Moments

I thought the other night, people forget about life every so often. Well, not forget about LIFE I suppose, that's kind of hard to do. They just forget to live the way they used to.

In your life, you have several moments when you are in complete awe of this whole concept of living. The first is when you're a child. When you wake up early every morning, impatient for the next day to start. When you can spend a whole day learning just by wandering around the backyard and not get bored. When you want to stay up just that little bit later every night to cram more into your exciting adventure of living. As a kid, you don't take it for granted.

Then you go through a different stage where other things take over. Where you want to sleep in all the time. Where you don't want to go out shopping with your parents anymore because it's boring and you'd rather stay home and watch T.V.

Things change, and once again you can't get enough of this life that is open for you. School is over and with adulthood comes a degree of freedom. You're discovering a career, you're discovering love and relationships and testing the boundaries and spending all night out.

Then responsibilites and work and ambitions come into play again, and that's not a bad thing. It's just a different way of living in which a day is a day and there's things to be done.

So then there comes the midlife crisis stage. This is when people stop and think, oh god, I have had this whole time in my life where I let days go by without having something memorable in them. Without learning something. And then, in a desperate bid to experience that free joy of the early 20's people buy expensive cars, go on lengthy holidays, try out new fashion styles, get younger lovers.

It passes, of course. And then it's back to the normal life.

And finally comes a different kind of enthusiasm for life. A reverence. In which you come to understand life and enjoy the rest of yours peacefully, without too many worries, without letting days pass unmemorable.

This is how I see it anyway. These parts of our life are the most important. And I want to live every day as a child, testing the boundaries, going through a midlife crisis and peacefully accepting that time passes. I never want to say "I'm too old for that". I want to still be able to laugh like a child at anything remotely amusing. And I want to give each day something that makes it memorable.

So life, here I come.

To Life

Once again I must apologise for the unforgivable neglect towards you, my blog readers, in the past few months (that is, if I still have any blog readers after very VERY long gaps between blogs).

What can I say?

There has been a lot of stuff to do. There's been songs to sing, Harry Potter to be read, cookies to be bakes, monologues to be learnt, tears to be shed and dance steps to be forgotten. In short, there has been a life, and I have been living it.

So finally here is a blog post - Hooray! About nothing in particular of course. I did have several ideas for blogs, none of which I actually wrote so now I've got a big load of zip in ways of topics. I do have plenty of general life stuff happening, want to hear about it?

I'm going to pretend you said yes and tell you. WELL. There is officially three weeks until my first uni audition (eep!!). WAAPA is the first one, nice and early in the morning, the day after my birthday. A week later is NIDA and then some time around the last week of November is my BAPA one. All very soon.

Scary.

I have been panicking (side note: every time I see the word panicking typed I always accidentally read it as picnicking which is far nicer I think) and stressing and working very hard to try and get those pesky monologues and songs chosen, learnt and up to scratch. I have been INCREDIBLY lucky though and have had helpers around every corner willing to give me lessons and tips. Thank god for a performing family that's all I can say. And for those wonderfully talented family friends - you know who you are! I just want to say thank you to all of you. What a lucky girl I am to have you around :)

Apart from the auditions, other things have been going on. Sound of Music, for one. I am playing Liesl in an amateur production and rehearsals are well underway. The directors are lovely and I'm having a terrific time Doh-Reh-Mi-ing with everyone. It feels wonderful to be in a show again! And the children's cast are absolutely adorable. I've discovered that one of the cutest things in the world is when two very small children (the two Gretl's) have a serious conversation together about the dance moves and their acting. Seriously. Adorabubble!

I spent today trying to enter a writing competition for a writing mentor. Unfortunately, I discovered after doing all the preparation that I am NOT eligible to enter :( Thus, I have a piece of writing talking about my book that has no where to go so I am going to post it here just so it wasn't all for nothing.

Again, sorry for the lack of posts, and I hope someone is still reading this!!

"I started my novel, ‘The Twelve’ in 2006 when I was 14. I didn’t have an idea in mind when I began, I was inspired from reading a book written by a young author and decided I wanted to give this writing thing a try, so I sat down and I tried, and a year later I had finished the first draft of my very first novel.

The story developed and grew with every word I wrote, and I was spurred on by my love of fantasy and a vivid imagination. Over the past 4 years, I have worked on my novel every chance I got, spending much of my school holidays in front of the computer or reading over chapters and making changes. Having never written before, the editing process was a real learning curve for me, and it has taken me 4 drafts to improve and enrich the story that felt like it was writing itself. Now, I am 18 and ‘The Twelve’ is a fantasy adventure aimed at children aged 8 and up. I believe it is also a book that adults can read and enjoy, as long as you enjoy adventures filled with fantasy, puzzles, and magical creatures.
I have already learned so much just by delving into this story, but I know there is much much more to learn about story telling and it’s magic. Through this mentorship program, I would not only be improving my writing, but I would be getting the opportunity to understand more about the world of writing so that when I go to write my next novel, which I have already started planning, I can create a richer, more compelling world that may inspire someone else to pick up a pencil and write"

Returned

Hi there everyone!

Very sorry for my lack of blogging recently but I had very good reason, and that was that I was overseas lapping up the culture and excitement of London and Paris.

Yes, people, I am now a worldly traveller.

I can't possibly sum up the entire trip on this one post but I'll tell you a little about it until I see whoever it is that I see and give the full story to.

Summary of the trip: Basically it was a two week trip with my older sister, starting off in London for 5 nights and then Paris for 6 nights. We met up with two friends already over there in London, and joined another in Paris so we weren't too alone and confuzzled in a different country.

Summary of London: London was terrific and really opened my eyes to how different two countries can be. I suppose when I thought about different English-speaking countries such as London before, I kind of imagined everything to be very similar to Australia, just in a different part of the world and with sexier accents, but so many things were different. The whole atmosphere is different. The people (no offence Londoners) weren't as friendly especially the shop keepers who all seemed bored out of their mind. A friendly foreign coffee shop barista told me he thinks English people don't know how to work and have fun, whereas Australians find the fun in everything. Go us.

The driving is also crazy in central London. I felt as if our hotel shuttle was about to flatten some people in the streets. This is because the pedestrians seem to not care AT ALL about traffic. They have this nonchalant kind of way of standing in the middle of the street that clearly says, "Hey, I KNOW you won't run me over, you're going to stop, because if you don't you'll have a big fat lawsuit headed your way" and most of these pedestrians were wearing the business suits to prove they're not bluffing. That's another strange thing about London - we saw many baby-faced boys in business suits, boys who looked like they should still be in year 9, not wearing sharp cut suits and stylish skinny ties.

It is also beautifully green in London. So many parks and trees and it's all a different kind of green. We have a browny yellow tinge to all our green in Australia, their's is like a fairytale forest, lovely and lush and makes you want to unpack a picnic and do nothing for a while.

We resisted the temptation to laze about though - five nights is not much! We packed it full of shopping at H&M, markets, three West End Shows, tourist attractions and museums (I discovered my deep and lasting hatred of modern art. I saw far to many Homage's to the Square for my liking).

Summary of Paris: Boy was I excited to be heading here. This time I was expecting big changes, after all they speak a different language, that's a massive change.

We realised several things about Paris. One, it's difficult to tell whether they want you to speak French or not. I was all geared up to whip out some of my remembered French grammar but at the first restaurant the guy ignored my French automatically, seeming annoyed by it, and commenced to speak in English. Other places flat down refused to speak English at all. Most people seemed to think I was French, maybe because I said bonjour with enough R roll to make them happy, but still the inconsistency threw me.

Next thing I noticed: I thought English driving was bad.... French driving is truly awful. Our shuttle driver from Disneyland told us that all French people are bad drivers, but it maintains a nice balance because they cancel each other out. If one of them was a good driver, chaos would ensue. We were also told that car insurance doesn't cover the round about around the Arc du Triomphe because there is an accident there, on average, every half an hour. Wowza.

Paris is a beautiful city, it really is. Yes, it is a bit dirty, and yes, there are a lot of beggars and gypsies (we got warned on a tour about all the cons people pull, and some of our fellow tourists got dragged into a choice few). And yes, we were staying in an area of Montemartre that was quite close to the red light district, but the very central Paris, all along the Seine, was stunning. And the artsy area of Montemartre was as well.

Again, we kept busy in Paris. We did two walking tours, the Eiffel Tour, Versailles, went to many French restaurants (all that oddly had the exact same menu...) and pigged out on at least two ice creams a day. Overall, a very good result I think!

So that's my brief summary of my trip. There were a couple of hitches on the way, (travel sickness and stomach flu, bleh!) but everything was splendiferous and an amazing experience. I am incredibly incredibly grateful to have gone!!

Cheer

Hey there folks,

So with feeling generally down lately I've decided it's time to perk myself up with some positive cheerfullness on this blog. I am going to achieve this by listed all of the things that give me that happy warm and fuzzy feeling:

• Being outside in the rain
  Yes, it's a health risk as they say, but I quite simply love the rain. And for me, getting caught in the rain adds something good to the day.
  


• Looking back at my novel
  At the moment my novel is a bit neglected as I am just waiting to hear back from people about it. But the other day I flicked through it and felt that lovely nostalgic pride. The characters feel like familiar friends to me, and flicking through and reading bits remind me of when I wrote it and what inspired me. It reminds me of looking at an old favourite photo.
  


• The start of Spring
  There's a certain feeling about the start of Spring that always makes me feel happy. It's the reminded or September holidays of the past, of music playing in the house with the sun streaming in and the promise of some change.
  


• Reading Harry Potter
  What can I say? It's my comfort book.
  


• Cuddles
  In my opinion, there is nothing nicer than someone showing you how much you mean to them by giving you a wonderful hug. And vice versa. I'm always up for a cuddle.
  


• Rare perfect moments
  Very occasionally, I get this feeling of a perfect moment. I don't know if any of you get the same thing. It can be in a completely ordinary situation but it's this surreal sort of feeling that everything is right with your world. It's very calming and encouraging and is certainly a warm fuzzy moment.

There we go. That's as cheering as a basketful of Kittens. Mission accomplished!

For Sweet Liberty I Pray

I'm starting this blog with no real topic in mind. I just felt like blabbing for a little while about whatever pops into my head. So what first?

Random Thought Numero Uno

I have been released from the repressing shackles of a YABC reliant life - in other words, I am finally doing some performing that's not to do with CPCA. As much as I love YABC, I absolutely had to do something different. Let's be honest here, we all know that it's in it's own little bubble. You don't get any true representation of where you stand - one minute you could be getting better solo's, the next nothing. You generally don't get told how you personally are improving despite the fact that it is an improvement based company. Thus, basing your entire idea of your impending career on such a place is very VERY unwise.
So I got into the PLOS production of Sound of Music playing the role of Leisl which will be wonderful. I'm very excited and thrilled and cannot wait for the first rehearsal!
And I must say after finding out, at YABC on friday night, for once, I didn't overly judge myself.

Random Thought Number Two

I have realised lately that human beings really have very little control over their emotions. Yes, we like to believe that we can remain composed in tough situations, that we can logically look at our own problems and react accordingly, that we can turn off senseless feelings. But it's not true.
In some ways we are slaves to our emotions. We live our lives striving to be happy, fearing disappointment and sorrow. And that's fine, that's the point of life, isn't it? To find happiness?
The slave to your emotions thing is most frustrating when you know that your emotions are stupid. When you can say to yourself "There is no point feeling that way, so stop it" but you still can't. Feelings can't just be switched off immediately, however much we may want them to be. So we still emotionally invest in lost causes (or at least I do) knowing full well that it'll only end in disappointment.

Random Thought Number Three

Actually I'm drawing a blank here.
Wait, no. Here's something - the best things in life happen quickly, so grab them while you can.

Down in the Dumps

Boy have I been down in the dumps lately. I just haven't been able to shake some negativity over a couple things and it's really weighing down on me.

What makes it ridiculous is I have a lot of things to be happy about right now so I'm on this emotional roller coaster, one minute being quite happy and content with how things are trundling along and the next minute wallowing in some self despair.

I apologize for not blogging in a while. Things have been . . . I was about to say busy but then I realised that would be a lie. You know when you have this false business where you feel like you're going all day but then you look back and think - What did I actually DO today? That's how I've been. Pottering about, doing bits and pieces or filling time until a class I have or an audition or an outing or something like that. And playing Sims of course. I've become newly addicted.

What's news? Oh yes, I got a callback for Sound of Music tomorrow (fingers crossed!) I would very much desperately intensely obsessively love to do a musical right now. I need something other than YABC to base my judgement of my impending career on.

I went to BAPA open day on the weekend and started to think maybe WAAPA isn't the be all and end all. BAPA has some great pro's to it right now - ease of accommodation (as I already know people who I could live with); cheapness of accommodation; closeness to family and friends. All in all, it seems to have equal standard of teachers and such, the quality of performance was fantastic, the facilities looked great. So yeah. I'm reevaluating a little bit.

Europe is fast approaching. Under two weeks now (!!!) and everything is officially booked paid for and organised. The only thing left to do is go! And go I shall. I'm sure a lovely walk around Paris will cheer me up considerably :D