*Insert Harry Potter theme tune here*

And just like that, it's all over.

Yes, everybody, yesterday I saw the last Harry Potter film ever.

Now, I expected to love the movie, which I did. I expected to cry, as I cry in almost every movie I see so there's no difference there. I expected to be sad.

I didn't expect to be sobbing openly in the movie theatre.

Such an extreme reaction might seem indulgent, or over the top. I mean, for so many people, it's just a movie, based on just a book. But here's the magic of Harry Potter (pardon the pun) - It is so much more then that. SO much more then just a story. People grew up with it. It became a part of their childhood. A lot of people don't remember a time without Harry Potter, so it's no surprise that the reactions to the final film can be a tad dramatic. This was my life as well. Harry Potter was HUGE to me. And I'll explain why.

My Harry Potter Life Story

Everyone has a Harry Potter story. How they fell in love with it. What it means to them. Mine all started in year two, when I started at a new school. I think it was my third day at this new school when our teacher pulled out Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Every wednesday he would read a chapter or two to the class. They had already read Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone last year, so I was a bit behind. I had never heard of Harry Potter, but soon I was enjoying it as much as everyone else. Our teacher would put on a Dobby voice, or a gruff Hagrid voice and we'd be giggling and gasping in the rapt way that seven year olds listen to really good stories.

After we finished the book in school, I was dying to read more. I got the first book and read that on my own. The I bought the second book and read it again. The third book hadn't been released yet, but by the time it was I was a fan. I loved everything about this magical world, and these characters. As the kind of child that determinedly refused to stop believing in fairies and magic, this book was perfect for me.

The second part of my Harry Potter love affair began when I took Ballet lessons around the time I discovered Harry Potter. It was at Ballet that I met a long time childhood best friend, Cybelle. We did ballet lessons together every week, and had many a playdate in between. Soon, we realised that we both loved Harry Potter. In our mind, no two people had ever loved it more then us. When the first movie was released, we went and saw it together, wearing our Best Friend Forever connecting necklaces (weren't we adorable?) We were in ecstasy. Before long we had begun playing every Harry Potter game you could ever imagine. We combed the books and wrote down all the spells, learning them as if we were in class. We ran around creating this magnificent adventures that involved her next door neighbours cat being an animagus who was actually a very powerful Witch in hiding. We even started to write down all our adventures in a special book we made together.

Harry Potter was our thing. Sadly, we both moved away, and phone calls became less and less frequent. But I know she still loves Harry Potter with as much passion as I do.

Despite not being with my Harry Potter loving best friend, my boy-wizard love affair didn't end. I anticipated each new book, and each new movie. My older sister started reading the books after a while, but I always got to read them first. Harry Potter was the best way to make me happy. Once, before school, I cried and cried because I had made Mum as angry as she could possibly get. Later that day she bought me a Harry Potter card game to reconcile over and there was no better move she could have made. I would forgive anyone who came to me with Harry Potter merchandise.

I read the books too many times to count. I kept count up to about 23 and then I lost track.

My little sister and her friend also used to play their version of 'Hogwarts' and I would organise it for them. I'd organise their classes, teach them spells, and create little adventures with riddles to solve and Harry Potter trivia to answer. I loved it as much as they did.

In high-school, Harry Potter became my comfort book. Whenever I felt a bit miserable, or very miserable about something, I would read it. I would be sad, at school, and sitting there I would get excited that I had Harry Potter to read when I came home. I would devour each book, reading it constantly. It irritated my little sister no end, who decided to hide my books because I was reading them at dinner when she wanted to talk to me. I got them back, and she tried to snatch the off me which resulted in the front page being ripped off. Needless to say I was not happy. The book has been lovingly taped back together.

Then, the last book came out. I read it as slowly as I could force myself because I didn't want it to end. But it did, and I loved every word of it.

I can thank Harry Potter for many things. I can thank it for giving me the tools to a wonderful imagination. For being responsible for the best parts of my childhood. For inspiring me to want to write a story just as magical. For inspiring me to want to inspire other imaginations. For making me feel better when I felt terrible. For giving me something to look forward to every time a book was to be released or a movie was to come out.

It may sound cliched to some people. I know there are people who never got into Harry Potter (two of my best friends for example) and they don't get how it can mean so much to anyone. But Harry Potter does mean this much to me, whether it's rational or not. It means so much. And that's why I cried throughout the whole damn movie, and that's why I was so overwhelmed at the end of it. I grew up at the exact same time as the characters. I went through aspects (emotional ones, not the magical ones - although I desperately wished I could have had the magical problems too) of what they were going through.

And plain and simple - I freaking love it.

3,2,1

TOP THREE FAVOURITES AND WHY

Movies:

3. Robin Hood Men in Tights

For the simple fact that it makes me laugh every single time, no matter how many times I've heard the jokes.

2. Nightmare Before Christmas

Because it has all those qualities I love that Tim Burton puts in all his movies - darkness, humour, songs, magic and a poetic kind of feeling. The characters are so darn loveable even when they're representing the nightmarish kind of creatures we should fear.

1. Spirited Away

It's not to everyone's taste, but I absolutely love love love this movie. I've seen it so many times but every time it's like I've never seen it before. I can't get past the way these japanese movies have themes of magic and spirits running through them in such a relaxed normal way as if it's completely natural for everyone to believe in them. It seems to say "Of course" after every far fetched crazy magical thing that happens and I absolutely love that. It just makes it all the more magical.

Dream Homes (clearly I'm not aiming for realism here)

3. Chateau in Paris

Yes it's a crazy dream but a chateau in Paris is something I am reaching for. One day when (hopefully) I am incredibly rich and lavishly important I'll have a chateau in Paris with one of those long sweeping driveways, extravagant gardens, maybe some horses. I'll have one of those french provincial style homes with a vintage twist. A girl can dream.

2. Swanky city apartment

I don't specifically have a city in mind but I think it would terribly cool to have a stylish apartment in the city. I love the feel of the city and I'd love to spend more time there. But that busy, switched on feeling you have in every city is something I love. And to be close to everything as well.

1. English Cottage

While I don't really want to live in England, I'd be more then happy to plunk one of their english countryside cottages into Australia for myself. One of those lovely houses right on the edge of an english forest, where everything is beautiful and green and there are little streams and mossy rocks and the sunlight filters through the leaves making everything seem magical and wonderful. It's the complete ideal environment in my mind.

Is it too much to ask for a french provincial style chateau on the edge of an english-style forest in the heart of a city? Come to think of it, yes.

Musicals

3. Title of Show

This is a tough one because my favourite musical changes pretty much every week but this one has been consistent for a little while. It is hilarious, to put it simply. Heidi Blickenstaff and Susan Blackwell do their characters so well and the songs that aren't big jokey numbers are really heartfelt and lovely. All round good musical.

2. Wicked

Yes, it's cliched now but I was once a massive Wicked fan and it shall always hold a big piece of my heart. It introduced me to the idea of broadway, and musical celebrities and the ability to listen to an album and piece together the story of the musical in your head to the point where I had pretty much mapped out the whole show. No joke, I would listen to the album whenever I felt blue and it always cheered me up. So while I'm not as hardcore a fan as I used to be, I will never forget Wicked.

1. Jesus Christ Superstar

This was the musical that made me love musicals. I watched the DVD of this with my Dad before I even knew what a musical was (my god, was there such a time?) and fell in love with it straight away. The commitment in the performances on that DVD, especially Judas and Jesus astounded me. And the fact that they only sung just made me want to live in an Andrew Lloyd Webber rock opera. I bought the album and listened to it until, quite literally, the whole CD case fell apart. Subsequently I know the lyrics to every song, and can sing the whole musical through from start to finish as I long ago memorised the order of the songs. Ah Jesus Christ Superstar, I love love love love you.

Celebrity Crushes

3. James Franco

Amazing smile. Enough said.

2. Darren Criss

How can you not fall in love with Darren Criss? I was hooked from the moment he started singing in A Very Potter Musical. Funny, charming, seemingly intelligent, he has it all - plus he does acoustic covers of disney songs. Like I said, how can you not love him?

1. Ricky Ullman

Not many people know good old Ricky, but he won my heart in Phil of the Future all those years ago. Don't quite know where he is now but he was as cute as can be, plus he had all those future gadgets which made him all the more cool.

Books

3. Terry Pratchett Books

Sorry to be general here but I love all of Terry Pratchett's books. He makes me laugh out loud, I just love the chaotic, wry and dry humour he so effortlessly puts in to all his stories.

2. Harry Potter

Where to start? Yes I know many other people share my love of Harry Potter so it's not unique, but I can not begin to describe my young obsession with these stories, nor how they have impacted me. The idea of magic has always inspired me, and when I was young I seriously waited for my Hogwarts letter. I could not have been more invested in the world J.K Rowling created, and while there may be no Hogwarts, I feel (and many others feel the same I would guess) that I grew up there as much as the characters did. I read the books and followed the stories at the same ages as the characters so in a way I grew up with them. Not many books allow their readers to become so much a part of the story like that. No wonder she's incredibly incredibly rich.

1. The Starthorn Tree

Again, a slightly obscure one maybe. Don't boo me for not having Harry Potter as my number 1 fave until you've read this book. It's by Kate Forsyth, who I believe is an Australian writer (she lives here anyway). Her book was my chief inspiration in writing mine (side note, I thought I was ambitious writing my first novel at 15, she wrote hers at 9!). She weaves this amazing fantasy advenutre story with all the bells and whistles but without becoming too corny. She easily creates this whole world and her characters are just so 3 Dimensional and believable, so that the reader relates to them straight away, something that can be tough. Think about it. J.K. Rowling had 7 books in which to unveil her characters and get us to understand and feel for them. Kate Forsyth does it within the first paragraph of introducing each character.

I think that's enough favourite things for now :) If you have any suggestions for any other top 3 favourites you'd like to hear let me know! It's always good to mix up from my usual emotional rants, right? And who doesn't like lists!?

Who knows what our life may hold, just around the Riverbend...

Hey all,

A lot of stuff has been going on lately. A lot of stuff. Mainly awesome, fun, wonderful, self-growth kind of stuff with a few heartaches and disappointments thrown in for good measure.

I've been rehearsing for Sound of Music which has been fantastic and a lot of fun. Learning the "16 Going On 17" dance has made me super excited about the show and I've just generally been trying to develop my character and be a better actress with each rehearsal.

YABC has been full steam ahead with the shows coming up soon. (HOORAY!) I can't say how much I am looking forward to those two weeks and that amazing feeling the show brings. The joy of performing, the train rides and stories and laughs exchanged, the closeness of the group, and that amazing feeling of confidence that I get when I'm backstage. I really cannot wait.

Schming and I have been working on our musical. Having our first sing/read through was an amazing experience. Hearing people speak your words out loud, adding emotion and intent to them was insane. Boy have we got a talented bunch of friends.

My birthday came and went. I am now 19 (!!!) When the hell did that happen?! I had a great shindig and had a lovely day with family breakfasts and rehearsals to top it all off. Plus some awesome presents such as Fable 3, book vouchers and stunning sexy bathers that I can't wait to wear.

I saw Harry Potter numero 7 last night (:D) which was, I believe, the best movie so far. It didn't miss anything out of the books and while it was a much slower pace then the last movies, it set up the big finale perfectly and had wonderful moments and some tear jerkers. Overall, I LOVED it and can't believe we have to wait till July for the next one!

I have also done 2 out of my 3 auditions. Both were very good experiences, and while I didn't get callbacks I feel I have learnt a lot from them, especially NIDA. WAAPA I was more disappointed with because I was a lot more nervous and a lot more eager to get in. NIDA I approached with an entirely different attitude. I was expecting nothing but experience from it and that is what I got out of it, as well as quite a lot of enjoyment.

SO that's a lot of stuff right? With all these things going on I've been plunged into a lot of a feeling I dislike but that I have to get used to: uncertainty. I'm sure I've mentioned it a couple of times. The thing I like least about it is that it forces you to guess, and guessing never leads to positive feelings, generally. Or if they do you could be severely let down. I think my guessing tends to make me quite delusional.

I've been feeling like I don't quite know where I stand in some instances. YABC, for instance. I can never tell if I'm performing well or not. I feel like I am, but who knows? Similarly, I felt like I performed better then some people at the NIDA audition but I could be completely wrong. It's so hard to tell when you don't get feedback. And this is ow the industry is, and I'll come to terms with that but it's still a strange thing.

But socially as well. I try to make guesses about what other people think. That maybe the person I like shows some interest in me. But these are guesses and are mainly clouded by hope, and in reality I'm not noticed by him at all.

OKAY so I may be sounding a little down, and overly negative. As I said before I'm allowed my sad moments occasionally and I don't let it get me down most of the time. But there are a few things that have been weighing on me for a while and those things grow and soon start to invade other aspects of my life and who I am. I shocked myself the other day. I was preoccupied with my own thoughts and emotional turmoil and I said something in a way that I didn't like at all. It was abrupt and unfeeling and while it didn't do any damage it showed me how being that self-focused can turn you into someone you don't want to be.

Anyways.

Just some of my thoughts. Just me continuing to go through a year of self-growth and change and crazy emotions that I haven't had to experience before. It's all part and parcel of growing up, right?

I'll keep you posted as exciting happy things continue to happen and we can have some smiley cheery posts for a while :)