Talented Friends

Being in a community of performers, I have the lucky chance of knowing some very talented people, who are sure to be superstars. One such friend has recently posted a song she has written on youtube. It's about something all performers understand; that elation of doing a show and the empty feeling when you finish it. Please check it out, it's a beautiful song and beautifully performed :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=bgtMyl4eiRI

*Insert Harry Potter theme tune here*

And just like that, it's all over.

Yes, everybody, yesterday I saw the last Harry Potter film ever.

Now, I expected to love the movie, which I did. I expected to cry, as I cry in almost every movie I see so there's no difference there. I expected to be sad.

I didn't expect to be sobbing openly in the movie theatre.

Such an extreme reaction might seem indulgent, or over the top. I mean, for so many people, it's just a movie, based on just a book. But here's the magic of Harry Potter (pardon the pun) - It is so much more then that. SO much more then just a story. People grew up with it. It became a part of their childhood. A lot of people don't remember a time without Harry Potter, so it's no surprise that the reactions to the final film can be a tad dramatic. This was my life as well. Harry Potter was HUGE to me. And I'll explain why.

My Harry Potter Life Story

Everyone has a Harry Potter story. How they fell in love with it. What it means to them. Mine all started in year two, when I started at a new school. I think it was my third day at this new school when our teacher pulled out Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Every wednesday he would read a chapter or two to the class. They had already read Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone last year, so I was a bit behind. I had never heard of Harry Potter, but soon I was enjoying it as much as everyone else. Our teacher would put on a Dobby voice, or a gruff Hagrid voice and we'd be giggling and gasping in the rapt way that seven year olds listen to really good stories.

After we finished the book in school, I was dying to read more. I got the first book and read that on my own. The I bought the second book and read it again. The third book hadn't been released yet, but by the time it was I was a fan. I loved everything about this magical world, and these characters. As the kind of child that determinedly refused to stop believing in fairies and magic, this book was perfect for me.

The second part of my Harry Potter love affair began when I took Ballet lessons around the time I discovered Harry Potter. It was at Ballet that I met a long time childhood best friend, Cybelle. We did ballet lessons together every week, and had many a playdate in between. Soon, we realised that we both loved Harry Potter. In our mind, no two people had ever loved it more then us. When the first movie was released, we went and saw it together, wearing our Best Friend Forever connecting necklaces (weren't we adorable?) We were in ecstasy. Before long we had begun playing every Harry Potter game you could ever imagine. We combed the books and wrote down all the spells, learning them as if we were in class. We ran around creating this magnificent adventures that involved her next door neighbours cat being an animagus who was actually a very powerful Witch in hiding. We even started to write down all our adventures in a special book we made together.

Harry Potter was our thing. Sadly, we both moved away, and phone calls became less and less frequent. But I know she still loves Harry Potter with as much passion as I do.

Despite not being with my Harry Potter loving best friend, my boy-wizard love affair didn't end. I anticipated each new book, and each new movie. My older sister started reading the books after a while, but I always got to read them first. Harry Potter was the best way to make me happy. Once, before school, I cried and cried because I had made Mum as angry as she could possibly get. Later that day she bought me a Harry Potter card game to reconcile over and there was no better move she could have made. I would forgive anyone who came to me with Harry Potter merchandise.

I read the books too many times to count. I kept count up to about 23 and then I lost track.

My little sister and her friend also used to play their version of 'Hogwarts' and I would organise it for them. I'd organise their classes, teach them spells, and create little adventures with riddles to solve and Harry Potter trivia to answer. I loved it as much as they did.

In high-school, Harry Potter became my comfort book. Whenever I felt a bit miserable, or very miserable about something, I would read it. I would be sad, at school, and sitting there I would get excited that I had Harry Potter to read when I came home. I would devour each book, reading it constantly. It irritated my little sister no end, who decided to hide my books because I was reading them at dinner when she wanted to talk to me. I got them back, and she tried to snatch the off me which resulted in the front page being ripped off. Needless to say I was not happy. The book has been lovingly taped back together.

Then, the last book came out. I read it as slowly as I could force myself because I didn't want it to end. But it did, and I loved every word of it.

I can thank Harry Potter for many things. I can thank it for giving me the tools to a wonderful imagination. For being responsible for the best parts of my childhood. For inspiring me to want to write a story just as magical. For inspiring me to want to inspire other imaginations. For making me feel better when I felt terrible. For giving me something to look forward to every time a book was to be released or a movie was to come out.

It may sound cliched to some people. I know there are people who never got into Harry Potter (two of my best friends for example) and they don't get how it can mean so much to anyone. But Harry Potter does mean this much to me, whether it's rational or not. It means so much. And that's why I cried throughout the whole damn movie, and that's why I was so overwhelmed at the end of it. I grew up at the exact same time as the characters. I went through aspects (emotional ones, not the magical ones - although I desperately wished I could have had the magical problems too) of what they were going through.

And plain and simple - I freaking love it.

Dance

This is Emily on the Dispatch... yo.

Hi all!

I figured it was about time for an update. A run of the mill this is what's been going on, up, down and around in my life at the moment.

SO!

First and foremost, I just went to Fiji. Yes, the magical land of resorts and spa's. It was simply splendid. My family and I went for five nights to a resort that exudes tranquility and that lazy holiday mindset. We fell in love with Fijian people straight away. I've never felt more welcomed in my life. They played the ukulele and sung to us as we came in the airport (with other airport staff clapping and dancing, as you do) and everywhere we went we heard 'Bula!' which is their hello. We soon learnt that it's also a huge part of their culture, as they pride themselves on being hospitable people. Everyone says Bula to everyone whether you know them or not. Walking down to the pool we would be greeted by every single Fijian we passed.

We also noticed the heat. A welcome change from the freezing temperatures of Melbourne. It was a balmy 29 degrees when we got off the plane and didn't change at all our whole trip. You know what was nice? Not having to wear bed socks.

In a holiday filled with swimming, restaurants, shopping, tanning (or at least, not burning too much), my absolute favourite thing was this:

BUFFET. BREAKFAST.

That's right, you heard correctly. Buffet breakfast EVERY MORNING!

*Emily dies of happiness*

Buffet breakfast is possibly one of the best things in the world. Every morning we got eggs, fresh coconut, delicious hash browns, all sorts of cereals, Fijian breakfast dishes and more. It was heaven on a plate.

After breakfast every day we soaked up some sun by the pool. I lounged in my new hat, demolishing some Terry Pratchett/Neil Gaiman novels or listening to musical soundtracks. Then we'd dive into one of our five pools to choose from and that was basically how we spent every day.

Once again, heaven.

But unfortunately the holiday is over, and it always has to end with an unpleasant plane trip. (Yay for travel sickness pills saving me, unlike my Europe flight!) And now we're home.

On to other matters, what else is new?

Well, editing is underway with One More Year. Schming and I had a day or writing and got a few songs done. Big changes underway, which on one hand is a bit sad, and insanely difficult. Once you have sung, read, written, worked with one song for so long it's hard to hear it in any other way. But we made some good changes and hopefully we'll make more.

I've also been starting to pursue a path for my novel again. I realised, as odd as this sounds, how much I miss my book. My characters, that story, the feeling of writing a novel. So I want to work more on it but I'm at a bit of a dead end. I need more opinions, but professional book editors/assessors and expensive. So I'm entering a mentorship competition and fingers crossed I get in. I'm hoping to get Kate Forsyth as my mentor - she wrote my favourite book of all time, 'The Starthorn Tree' and is a huge inspiration to me. I love the way she writes and the story she tells so it would be great to get her opinion on my book.

School is looming over the corner. Term three is nearly beginning (eep!). I cannot believe we are already half way through. I'm scared of it ending. Considering how much we're being held up, supported and gently guided in the right direction, the thought of suddenly losing my training wheels next year is a frightening one. But it'll happen, and I suppose by the end of the year I'll be ready for it. I'm excited about what the rest of the year will bring. I have a lot of loose puzzle pieces that I'm trying to fit together, I'm hoping things will start to get clearer and those pieces with fall together. In life and in school.

You know what's strange? It's strange being very aware. They say stay in the moment, and don't watch time pass and you'll live. Live properly, I mean. But when you're trying to live in the moment and grow beyond the moment you start becoming very aware of everything. Of yourself, of who you are and what you're doing, and especially of how your changing. I've changed a lot these past few months. A lot. And being aware of the person I'm becoming is both unnerving and reassuring. Many blog posts ago I talked about wanting change. Wanting to be more and experience more and making big movements in life. Well, I think I'm in the middle of it. I'm on a little ledge, and I have a gaping hole behind me that was who I used to be. I can't possibly move back, I don't know how. But in front of me is a place I don't know, and I don't quite know how to navigate it.

How's that for a metaphor?

Not very good. I know, but hey, it's my metaphor and it makes sense to me.

Well there's my update for you all. One last note, I have recently fallen in love with Stephen Sondheim's musical Merrily We Roll Along, and I love these lyrics. I'll leave them with you guys to read. I hope your lives are going swell, I hope you have things your pondering and things going on. And I hope your enjoying it all.

And if I wanted too much,

Was that such

A mistake

At the time?

You never wanted enough —

All right, tough,

I don't make

That a crime.

And while it's going along,

You take for granted some love

Will wear away.

We took for granted a lot,

But still I say:

It could have kept on growing,

Instead of just kept on.

We had a good thing going,

Going,

Gone.

WHY?!

Why is it that people argue with themselves?

Well, I assume I'm not the only one who does.

Why is it that we constantly go against ourselves on everything. That we split our mind two ways, and can often see both sides of wisdom but simply cannot justify one or the other enough to adopt it's way of thinking.

And more importantly, HOW can we do this? In some ways I very much wish we weren't so complex. The fact that we actually can split our consciousness into two ways of thinking is bizarre. I'm not saying in a weird, multiple personality/talking to yourself way. I mean in the way that, when we're in turmoil, we can tell ourselves one thing and believe another. It's like one part of our mind is this wise, knowledgable but ultimately ignored being that listens to advice, takes everything in and tells the rest of us, quite calmly, the right decision to make. Meanwhile, the other part of our minds is hiding in a dark shadowy corner somewhere, waiting until Miss. Clever disappears for a minute so that they can basically tear down all those positive, clear and reasonable thoughts that we so determinedly tried to build into our systems.

It is, in essence, a completely self-destructive thing and I don't see why we have to have the capability to do it in the first place. Why should people be able to feel sad, happy, angry, and then tell themselves they shouldn't be feeling sad, happy, angry?

I suppose (and here comes Miss. Clever) that there's a reason we have this mental capacity. It's probably some sort of self-development thing. Some sort of, 'Look how smart humans are! We can think several conflicting things at once and believe all of them equally! Hooray." thing. In being able to do this, we're able to test ourselves mentally, experience conundrums and deal with them (or alternatively, not deal with them. Maybe it's a survival of the fittest.)

All in all, it is frustrating to say the least.

And it makes me want to not have quite a big brain.

I bet cats don't have this problem.

Peace

I've recently read a wonderful book. It's quite a well-known book, hugely popular and then made into a movie with a few celebrities. It's about love, spirituality, pleasure, and peace. Guessed it yet? It's 'Eat, Pray, Love'.

It's one of those books that I kept saying, 'Oh you should read that.' about but never actually got round to it, until I saw it sitting next to my Mum's bed and realised we owned a copy. So I read it, and I'm glad I did. I understand why it is so popular. Why so many people love it and endorse it. It's a beautiful book. It's the kind of book that inspires you, not in a cliched sense, but in the same way that seeing someone perform makes me want to get up and perform also. It makes you want to be active in life.

For some people, I can imagine it would be a hard read. The book (for those of you who haven't read it) is divided into three sections: Italy for pleasure, India for spirituality, and Indonesia for balancing the two. The first section, Italy, is probably enjoyable for everyone. It's about things everyone can relate to - the art of relaxing. Enjoying yourself without guilt, letting yourself eat pasta and ice cream for breakfast and spending days wandering the street with no real aim.

The second section is when it changes. India is all about spirituality. It's all about meditation, grappling with inner demons, finding god, finding peace.

I am not a religious person, but for some reason I love reading about it. I love reading from the perspective of a religious person. I love finding out about it, understanding it, knowing about it. And so this portion of the book fascinated me. BUT. It did bring up a question in my mind.

First of all, the majority of the book talks about finding this enlightenment, oneness with god and the universe that gives you contentment. It lets you let go of negative emotions or needless feelings and live with happiness. That's great. That's terrific. But it made me think - is that right? Is living in contentment how we are meant to be living?

It brings me back to a post I made a while ago about feeling miserable and angry and just letting yourself feel that for a while. Everyone is entitled to a bit of angst. In my mind, someone who is happy all the time isn't a very interesting person. Nor are they very human. They say only the insane are happy all the time. Do they say that simply because they can't understand the concept of being happy? That we can't? Maybe. Maybe I'm wrong, and if I understood it more I would be more accepting of it.

But another thing. I find that negative emotions are incredibly necessary. Not all the time obviously - I'm not saying that someone in a constant bad mood is the best person in the world. What I'm saying is that it's the negative emotions that drive us into great things sometimes.

It's that feeling of frustration and anger when we can't understand something that pushes us to practice and learn and not give up until we learn it. It's those feelings of grief and sadness that prompt us to take stock of the world and our lives and make changes for the better. It's that feeling of unsatisfaction with what we have that makes us advance our knowledge and create more and more amazing things. Yes, there are elements of positive emotions in these examples, but that's the balance, isn't it? How can there be positive without negative?

The idea of being happy and content all the time is an alluring one. A magical one even. It paints a picture of heaven, of total enlightenment and peace. But, in my mind, it is in no way a realistic one. That's not what humans are about. We shouldn't live our lives trying to suppress and fight away negative emotions. Those emotions are just as a part of us as happiness and excitement are. We need that duality. Yes, we can strive to find a balance, but reaching for a state of only happiness is an empty dream.

I hope you don't take this as morbid, it's not in any shape or form. I just like that humans are complex, and that we can feel grief and joy to the exact same depth. I don't want to have to pretend that we shouldn't.

Rant ended.

Incredible

Anyone else find this absolutely incredible?! Some people are so talented.

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/23arAI/www.behance.net/gallery/Solitude-20102011-A-work-in-progress/954142