Seize the Day

I felt the time was right for another blog, seeing as my head's about to explode. That's how I usually judge when it's blog time.

So hello to my blog readers out there. How's things for you? We're one month into the new year (eeek) and time is moving rapidly. People are going back to school, some of us are starting new courses. Uni people generally still have another couple weeks of holidays... *shakes fist at uni people*
But to sum it all up, things are happening.
It is actually really freaking me out how quickly the year is going already. I don't quite know why, because there is nothing about this year that I am dreading. In fact I only really have things to look forward to. But still, the thought that time is going so quickly is sitting badly with me. If I was psychoanalyzing myself I'd say this must mean that I am afraid of things changing, but actually I think it may be the opposite. I think I'm more afraid of finishing the year and things NOT changing.
Is that strange?
I really like my life, don't get me wrong, but like I have said in other blog posts I am MORE then ready for some new things to happen, and I guess I'm quite terrified by the thought that I may spend a whole year and not have moved forward or changed in any way. I want to be able to look back at the end of the year and say, "Yep. I did what I wanted. This year is definitely not wasted."

I think I have a problem with the idea of wasting time. It really unsettles me. I was always the person that would stress myself out in school holidays when I realised I had hardly done anything social and I only had a week left. I always had to do as much as physically possible otherwise the holidays were wasted completely. I'm still the same. For instance I'll have a few rest days because I am physically exhausted, but when I get to the end of the day my mind is so annoyingly switched on that I can't sleep, no matter how tired I am. I feel anxious because I feel like I haven't accomplished anything, and a day in which I accomplish nothing is a day wasted.
Seize the day really should be my life motto, but that makes me think of being brave and doing things you normally wouldn't. If I had that as my motto I would talk the talk but not walk the walk. Sure I try new things, I put myself out there, but not where it counts. If it feels easy then that's not really seizing the day and getting out of your comfort zone is it? Actually, come to think of itI do get out of my comfort zone in some ways - auditioning, performing, taking risks and trying to overcome challanges - but in other ways I fail horribly. I can't make it clear to someone that I'm interested in them, I can't put myself out there in that way. Sheesh what a coward! I should listen to my own fake motto and just bite the bullet. Make a day worthwhile.

Anyways, rant ended. My pizza just arrived.
Nighty night!