Who's Crazy?

I've realised lately that perception is everything. It is an incredibly important thing in life, because it's equally as powerful as reality is. If you perceive something to be true, it will be your reality. It's irrelevant whether or not the fact is actually true.

For example, a person who is colourblind may not be able to see the colour yellow. To them, yellow doesn't exist. That's their perception of the world. To us yellow does exist. But who can prove either of these perceptions wrong?

It brings me back to English in year 12, studying 'Whose Reality'. The whole idea was that reality is different for each person, but that doesn't make it less 'real'. A woman who believes that someone has taken her child when no one has will be equally distraught and desperate as a woman whose child has actually been taken. The reactions and responses are the same, regardless of what's true and what isn't.

It boggles my mind a little bit, because it makes me think 'what's to say my reality isn't real at all?' It also makes me think of the power a mind can have. It's like placebo pills. The perception or belief that something should be having an effect on your body ends up causing a change. It's the sheer mental power that does it, not a drug or medicine. Just thought.

People who are insane don't believe they're insane. All of their thoughts are perfectly justified to them. Everything makes sense. And because it doesn't make sense to the majority of other people, we decide their perception is skewed and they are insane. But at the root of it, in their minds, they are right and we are wrong.

You could study the thought of perception for a lifetime and still not understand everything I think. The human mind is far too crazy.

The reason I started thinking about this was because of a much shallower version of perception, and that is in the social world. How we perceive each other. I was thinking that we can intend something one way and it is taken another. For instance, sometimes when I'm with friends of friends or people that my friend's know, and I'm not a part of that 'group', I automatically assume that they are not interested in talking to me, and so I don't make an effort to start a conversation or form a friendship. Now, to them, I realised I may be coming across as stand-offish, or maybe not very friendly because I haven't been acknowledging them. To me, I see the situation as being one I'm not entirely welcome to but that comes across as being rude.

SO.

How do we solve social perception conundrums like this? You can't change the way other people think about your actions. Nor can you change the way a general social situation is read. I think what you (or really what I) should do about this is to be aware of other people's perception. It's just being aware of other people in general. It makes you much more receptive to other people's actions as well and can clear up some of these awkward misconceptions. But that's what I'm trying to do know. Just be aware of how something can be perceived differently because in all honesty, EVERYTHING can be perceived differently. There is never just one way to look at someone, or something.

We live in a 3D world don't we? So there's the answer. Always remember that everything and everyone has more then one dimension.

We're Halfway There, Wo-OAH - Living on a Prayer!

Hello my blogger friends,

What's new? In my life; quite a few things I suppose. I'm busy with Glee Tribute show (if you live in Melbourne, come down to Cranbourne tomorrow, Frankston on sunday and other places that I can't remember right now) and watch us smile our way through 9 contemporary songs - you're guaranteed grapevines, the occasional cheesy smile and a whole lot of energy and fun smacking you in the face!

In other news, I got into Showfit (a year long, full time musical theatre course) - HOORAY! I'll actually be doing something this year! So while WAAPA, NIDA and BAPA were unsucessful, I haven't failed completely. Actually I wouldn't say I've failed at all because I learnt a lot doing those auditions, and I don't think you can fail at something if you learnt from it.
So yes, I'll be heading to Brunswick every day to sing dance and act my way onto the stage. :D

In even more other news, schming and I have been having excting discussions about how we could put our show on one day in the future. Yes, it's a long way off and we need to finish the show itself first, but just picturing people performing our work is an inspiring thought.

I've also been very much missing writing. It may sound odd, but I've actually been missing the characters of my book. In a way I'm proud of the fact that I can miss them, because it means I created characters real enough to be missed, but I suppose I am biased. I want to start my next book but I'm trying to have everything planned before I do, and that's taking a while. I'll get there eventually!
Talking about missing something, I can't believe how nostalgic and sad I am about Sound of Music! I loved my kids cast so much and miss them like crazy. I even miss people I hardly spoke to! I'm on that post show crazy time when I just have so much love for everyone. It was such an amazing experience, such an amazing cast, such an amazing show - I feel lucky to have been a part of it.

This is off topic now but I've also been realising lately how unpleasent it is to be ignored by someone that you are trying to make an effort to talk with, or establish a friendship with. Maybe their lack of effort is a hint that they don't want a friendship, but when I try to read the signs I get mixed messages - regardless, whether I'm misjudging or not it's still a frustrating feeling. It is times like these when I wish people (including me) would just speak their mind. Say "hi, I think you're nice and want to spend more time with you" and then, "oh, really? Well I've been wanting to spend more time with you!" or, alternitavely, "Oh, that's awkward. I actually don't like you at all...." *backs away slowly*. Either way, at least I would know!
It's times like these I also wish I had mind reading capabilities. That would save a hell of a lot of thinking time.

oh, p.s. I know I already advertised it, but I saw a run of Spring Awakening today and it was AH-MAY-ZING! Don't miss out because one day you will curse the fact that you could have seen so and so the now famous broadway star back in his/her youth, displaying their freakish talent for the world to see. Seriously, it is fantastic. See it!
(scroll down my old blogs to find the link to the website)

25 Things You May or May Not Know About Me

1. I am obsessed with Fairytales and Fables. Most people grow out of their fairy/elf/magic loving phase... well I never did. I believe all those old stories and myths about fairies and magical creatures and I'm still waiting on that Hogwarts acceptance letter that got lost in the mail...

2. I don't really hate many celebrities, but I hate both Vanessa Anne Hudgens and Ashley Tisdale with a passion. Vanessa Hudgens for what she did to Rent, Ashley Tisdale for what she did to a classic disney song. Also they're just really annoying.

3. I eat far too many uncooked baked things. In my opinion cake batter tastes better then a cooked cake. It's unhealthy, I know. But it's so damn delicious.

4. I'm a self-proclaimed nerd. I like to read, I like video games, I wear glasses, and occasionally I snort when I laugh. There. The secret's out.

5. I always see faces and pictures in random things, like a mark on the pavement, or in a bunch of leaves. I like to think of some sort of story that goes behind each one, so if you ever catch me staring at something inanimate for a long period of time, that's where my mind has wondered off to.

6. My favourite punctuation is the interrobang. It isn't used enough. Unfortunately I don't know how to type it on my mac, but it's a combination of this: ? and this: ! And it's awesome.

7. I worry sometimes if I'm thinking something mean about someone that they actually have mind reading powers and have heard it all. Insane? I think so.

8. I feel most supremely confident and amazing when I am backstage doing a show. Once I am in costume and in the performing headspace, very little can get me down.

9. I only have 4 or so albums on my ipod that aren't musicals.

10. I like doing anything creative, and as daggy as it is, that includes craft. I love scrapbooking. Don't judge.

11. I own way too many notebooks because I can't resist buying them. I try to find new functions for my notebooks so as a result I seem to have completely pointless notebooks for each aspect of my life.

12. I drink Apple and Blackcurrent juice with breakfast every morning without fail.

13. Nothing annoys me more then someone who chews really loudly. I don't normally get the urge to punch people in the face, but when they chew loudly...

14. I am always reading a book. I read every night before I go to sleep, and have done since I learnt to read.

15. My least favourite television programs to watch are cooking shows. They bore the hell out of me. There's only so many minutes I can watch of someone mixing ingredients together or showing you how to set the oven.

16. I don't understand people who say "that's so funny" and don't actually laugh. If you're gonna say it's "the most hilarious thing I've ever heard", you'd think you'd crack a smile.

17. I look forward to the day that I have my own house so that I can buy things like tea-sets and cake stands and spend a day in Bed, Bath and Beyond.

18. I am incredibly close with my family.

19. Every time I hear someone play an instrument beautifully or every time I look at beautiful artwork I feel inspired to take up that instrument or pick up a brush, even if I have absolutely no talent/technique in that area whatsoever. Seeing someone else's creativity inspires me.

20. I think mnm's are better then smarties, pirates are better then ninja's, and rainy days are more fun then sunny ones.

21. I'm not generally a shy person, but the minute I am around someone who I think is higher up then me on the social status ladder I become a much more subdued version of me. And I tend to think most people are cooler then me.

22. I fidget constantly. Even when I'm absolutely exhausted and collapsed on the couch I'll tap my foot without noticing. Being still for too long doesn't sit right with me.

23. I get incredibly sad when I see someone as being lonely or alone. It always makes me cry in movies when someone is alone, and in real life I absolutely can't handle it.

24. I used to want to be an Egyptologist because I loved ancient history so much. I still love it.

25. My favourite smell is onions frying in oil, and my favourite sound is the Orchestra warming up before a show.

Spring Awakening

Hey all,

Just wanted to remind any of my readers who live in Melbourne to go see this amazing show called Spring Awakening (follow the link to the website)
It's an incredible musical, with a beautiful score and quite an interesting story to put it mildly. The cast (I have seen some of their rehearsals) are FANTASTIC! It is a group of very talented young performers and I swear there are some future stars amoung them, so get to the website, book your tickets and go see the show because if you miss out you really will be kicking yourselves.

DO IT!
I command you.
Go on.
You know you want to...!

You are the Light of the World

Different people give off some very different vibes, and we are all quite sensative of these vibes. You can get hostile vibes from people that keep you away from them, you get vibes when you think someone might be a bit dangerous, you get a friendly vibe off an outgoing person. In my opinion, there is one thing that strangles every vibe you can give off and that is self-consciousness.

Have you ever realised that the people you are drawn towards in conversation are the one's that have absolutely no self-consciousness at that time? It's true how they say that people are their most beautiful when they aren't thinking about how they look. That they are the most appealing when they are being completely themselves without fear of how they seem or sound. It's that self-assuredness that I can tell this joke or make this comment because I'm not even thinking about how it's going to make ME look. People who push everything they have inside themselves outwards and think openly about others are the one's that seem the nicest, the funniest...

Then the flipside: when we are self-conscious, we push everything we have inwards. We don't let any of our naturalness (great word there...) show. We strangle ourselves off and this suddenly makes our shine fade. The eye is drawn to the brightest light, but to be so self-aware puts that inner shine deep within us.

That's not to say that people who are self-conscious or self-aware have trouble finding friends or being themselves or having success. The thing is, selv-conscious people to have trouble, they make trouble where there is none. They tell themselves "this doesn't look good" or "I can't pull this off" and by doing that they're making all these statements true. I don't mean to talk about 'self-conscious people' as a race of their own. Everyone's self-conscious at one time or another. Myself included, a lot of the time. The point I'm getting at is that, ironically, it's all a vicious cycle. We worry about looking bad, or not being cool enough, and we send out those vibes and as a result, that is how people view us. We cause the problem, and then struggle underneath it unnecessarily.
When I think about it like this, I realise how truly stupid I can be. How we all can be. Just FORGET about silly self-doubts. Go for it. Seize the day. Insert another motivational saying here.

Basically, don't dim your own light.

Lost Histories

Browsing through the blogger's of note list today I came across this blog that has heaps of pictures of derelict and destroyed old buildings. The photo's that I found on his site creeped me out no end. All these building's once so well kept (hospitals, theatres, hotels) are now completely abandoned and falling apart, whether due to general neglect or some sort of damage. have a look at the photo's yourself, but I'll post some here:

What is it about these that I find so frightening? Is could just be the fact that they look mostly like scenes from horror films, but even then, without the horror story behind it, they have a horrific feel of their own. A nightmare like qualitiy.

What it makes me wonder, to put it simply, is why do I feel so affected by these buildings? I think human beings put so much stock into what they create; into the building's they construct and design, into the decor and atmosphere - and to think about what these broken building's once were while looking at these pictures is like looking at forest burnt by fire, or the wreckage of the titanic - it's the change that makes it creepy. It's the fact that when we look at pictures like these we imagine (or I do at least) a bit of a slow film reel going through the time frame from when they were whole and beautiful and unqiue - with people bustling through corridors, dancing in ballrooms or birds flying through the branches - to shadows creeping in and paint peeling and all life disappearing. All the stories and lives that were attatched to the place suddenly seem as dead as the place itself. As abandoned, forgotten and broken.

I suppose it's a bit of human nature not wanting change that makes these images so frightening to me. The thought that everything we create should stick and last. It shows that emotional attatchment we have with so many things in the world. In a way it's silly because all it is is a bunch of bricks and mortar. That is just paint peeling from water damage, those are just exposed beams from the roof collapsing, it's all just cobwebs and dust - but we fill in the gaps with stories, and the shadows of the people who once walked the halls still remain. All of a sudden we sense the true history that may have been lost, and I suppose that's the frightening thought. What's sadder then an untold story? What's more chilling then a place that seems to scream "What has happened to me?!"? These pictures - these places - seem to breath with a hidden history, and there is no way to know how terrible these histories could have been. That's what is scary.

Summer's Over, Another Year's Begun

Once again, I must say long time no blog. Unusually, my lead up to the new year was quite busy and very different to what it normally is. In a way, I feel as if I haven't had holidays yet, and I probably won't get holidays until late Jan. Straight after shows came the news of my grandpa's death, then we had my family arriving, then the funeral and after that it was christmas time. While having the family here was terrific and I thoroughly enjoyed spending time with my cousins, it does take a lot out of you and I felt as if I could never quite relax. I was on babysitting duty the majority of the time, making robots, playing wii and endless boardgames. I discovered I still have the imagination of a four year old and am able to turn a game of doctors into a hunt around the house for a crazy witch while trying to protect the princess from being stolen from a statue monster.

Christmas was lovely, however. I've never eaten so much food in my life in those few days leading up to christmas (we set out a full dining table of food each night - FEAST!) and it was great sharing the day with young'uns who were incredibly excited for Santa to come.

Soon, most of the family left (except my aunt and grandma) and I got back into rehearsals for Sound of Music, which opened last night (New Year's Eve). The show went wonderfully and my family and friends who came to see it enjoyed it immensely, as did I. While I think it could have gone better in some ways, I'm just glad I got to show everyone Leisl finally, and get some applause and laughs and reactions from the audience which always feeds a performance.

That brings me to 2011. WOW.

I'm finding it hard to believe it is a new year already. It doesn't feel like long ago at all that I was making plans for my gap year, figuring out what I was going to do and where I was headed. And now here I am, one day into a new year and looking ahead.

What do I have to say about 2010? It was, first and foremost, a year of learning. That's what I intended it to be, and happily it turned out that way. But while I expected to learn some new dancing skills and singing techniques, I didn't expect to learn to much as a person and an overall performer. And the reason I learnt so much was because I faced quite a few challenges. It's true what they say: every problem comes with a gift in one hand. For ever issue I had or worry or problem I faced, I learnt something new. I learnt about creating a character and having a comfortability on stage which I struggled with for a while, feeling self-conscious of how I was standing or moving. I learnt about hard work, and how mostly a lot of effort isn't rewarded with any feedback or praise, but personal satisfaction and pride of what I've achieved.

Most recently I learnt how easily you can cripple yourself in a performance. How anxiety about a certain dance or song can set you back until you can barely perform that number. I learnt that to fix this, you need to focus on the character, not on yourself, and have faith in your abilities.

So yes, I have learnt a lot in 2010. And I want to keep learning. And the best way to do that is to face as many challenges and problems as possible. Then I can grow. So bring it on 2011! I'm ready and waiting, and I'm telling you I'm not going to back down without a fight.